Security at LAX

Returning from LAX to JFK a couple weeks ago after Nicolle's nonwedding, I was attempting to go through security when, after glancing at my boarding pass, a security member redirected me from one set of escalators to another.

Waiting in the much longer line, I realized that the shorter security line was for first and business class passengers, whereas the much longer line held us economy folks. After a ten-minute wait, the bourgeois line snaked us past another female agent who, after confirming that a passerby was about to miss his flight, might, at her discretion, redirect the tardy passenger into the first-class area. Although I generally wouldn't consider myself a populist, this incident may have converted me. It seems grossly unfair for two reasons.

Primarily, the designation of first class versus economy class is one of the airline, not the airport. Although the lines to check in at the airline's counter are shorter for Admiral's Club and sundry chihuahua-and-Gucci-toting and fur-trimmed passengers, I say they've earned it by paying several times as much for their ticket. Of course they get to lounge in plush pre-flight accomodations rather than sit on a vinyl chair near crying toddlers at the gate waiting area. Sure, they recline in generous leather chairs (with built-in electric massage) and sip mimosas on board before Boarding Group 5 gets to cram our luggage into the overhead bins and fight for the rare paper pillow and thin blanket. But fair's fair. They've paid to be treated like royalty.

But the airport itself should be an egalitarian institution. Security standards mean everybody has to remove shoes. First class passengers are all familiar with quart-sized plastic bags and 3 ounce rule . The Starbucks near Gate 38 doesn't have a shorter line for first class passengers. There's no special taxi queue at LaGuardia for the few returning from the summer home in the Alps. Airports are paid by airlines for use of the gates and renting space. So why would airport security offer shorter security lines to first class passengers?

The second reason is that even if the airport is slave to the airlines' coffers, the airlines should still make an attempt to maintain the dignity of economy passengers by not flaunting first class privileges. The Admiral's Lounge is discreetly tucked away. The curtain is demurely closed between cabins before the filets mignon are rolled out. I applaud all of this. Maintaining two security lines, however, serves only to increase the ire of passengers with already frazzled nerves* and grow resentment toward the first class passengers.

Settling into my seat on LAX's tarmac with my knees snug against the backrest of the chair ahead of me and wondering if my neighbor would hog the narrow armrest, I did realize, with no uncertain air of moral superiority, that economy class passengers have a much smaller ecologic footprint than first class fliers. That seemed to help.

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* Just to clarify, I did not have frazzled nerves. I arrived at the airport well in advance, and in fact was able to hop on an earlier flight back to JFK. Punctuality is a virtue..